


Dark Waltz

by Thestarlitrose



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Regency, Angst, M/M, friends to almost lovers, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 05:48:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21010742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thestarlitrose/pseuds/Thestarlitrose
Summary: A party at the home of his childhood best friend leaves him with a heavy heart.In the clearing, all is told.





	Dark Waltz

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Dark Waltz" by Hayley Westenra.

The music was pouring out into the courtyard where he’d stolen away. Inside people were dining and dancing; celebrating the birthday of the Lady the house.

He’d needed to get out of the crowded room, away from the people mocking him with their happiness.

He’d seen the man he loved that night and his heart ached. He’d fallen in love with him so gradually, he hadn’t even noticed until it was too late. Now, he was left pining for something he could never have.

It had been seven long years since he’d last seen him, even longer since they’d spoken. They had been in the shopping district of London and their eyes had met across a crowded street. Ezra had been dragged away by his eldest sister Michael before they had a chance to speak.

  
He had at least acknowledged him with a wave and a friendly smile, he didn’t blame him for allowing himself to be persuaded away.

They were childhood friends, they’d played together and had grown together.

That is until Crowley’s family fell into poverty after his father made one too many poor business decisions.

He’d gone to University on the goodwill of one of his father’s old colleagues; loathe to see such an intelligent young man be wasted and he was now working hard for him to rebuild the family name. Lucifer had given him a second chance at life, he would be forever in his debt.

And that was it wasn’t it?

He would never be good enough for Ezra’s family. They were old money, more importantly, they were old money with connections to the crown.

But himself? Nothing.

Not really, not even important enough to get an invite on his own accord.

He’d come to the celebration that night with a dear friend and colleague of his who had needed a companion for the evening. Bee had been of the acquaintance of Ezra’s brother; Gabriel for quite some time. He was sure they had romantic attachments to the later, but it had yet to be proven.

Crowley had stolen away into the depths of the courtyard after dinner had finished. He’d met the eyes of an angel across the room and his traitorous heart had skipped several beats. It seemed the attachment of his youth still held tightly to his heart.

He wasn’t surprised, he’d have been more shocked had he felt nothing. Too many nights staring up at the moon wondering if he was looking up at her too. Too many moments his heart would seize up and ache for his soft smile or see a flash of his expressive eyes.

Ezra had taken residence in his very being and he’d never be evicted.

  
He had fallen for the boy from the moment they met, he’d loved him for as long as he could remember. He had been his best friend as a child; an instant connection between the two children, he’d love his friend dearly. Then, that love had changed, grew, became something wholesome and new. Something all-consuming and consistent.

There had been stolen moments in their youth, a brush of hands, whispered words of affection and shy smiles. There had been a time in which he was certain those affections of his were returned, but he’d come to learn that Ezra would do little to upset his family. Preferring to be what his family wished of him rather than who he longed to be.

That time in his life was when he'd made his fondest memories.

He’d had hope then.

It had ended when his family had left the only home he’d ever known, he’d wept himself to sleep for months afterward.

During the most difficult of times, he’d think of Ezra and smile. The lingering warmth of his bright eyes was enough to lighten the darkest of days.

He’d only ever wished the best for his dear Ezra.

He’d gone away to university as soon as he could, worked hard to make connections and learn anything he’d need to know to fight his way back and regain his family’s good name.

He’d reached the edge of the courtyard, near the edge of an all too familiar path. If he followed the path, he’d be led to his childhood home.

It sat vacant, had for nearly 15 years. He desperately wanted to become wealthy enough to repurchase their home, to allow his father and mother to return to their rightful stations. Even more, he wanted to live close to Ezra once again. To take walks with him in the evenings and perhaps dine with him on Saturdays.

His heart longed for a life so out of his reach, his thoughts only made his chest ache.  


  
Without turning, “Hello Ezra.” He’d heard the slight shuffle of his dearest friend, making his way to him in the darkness.

“My dear, I wondered where you’d gotten off to. I’d hoped to see you before you left for the evening, when Mr. Shadwell; our butler if you remember, mentioned he’d seen you slip out into the back, I thought I would find you here.”

He laughed, “He always did know everything.” Crowley turned to face him and smiled warmly as his stomach flipped and turned. He had always been so handsome, his features graced by a soft kindness that Crowley would never be able to erase from his mind. He was older, but still his beloved Ezra.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you as well, Angel. I never thought I’d stand here again, not as a guest that’s for certain.”

He smiled warmly, “You’ve always been welcome here, Anthony.”

“Once more, Ezra; Crowley, please. Anthony has only ever been what my Mother called me when I needed a scolding.”

“But it’s your name, my dear. You just like Crowley because it sounds mysterious.”

“Yeah.” He grinned, it could be so easy to pretend nothing had changed.  


  
They walked along the path a bit, far enough to where they’d be properly hidden. The world was illuminated by a large full moon. In this light, Ezra looked ethereal. Like one of the mythical creatures, he loved to read about, like an angel who’d escaped heaven to walk the earth and bless the creatures thereof.

His heart was pounding a staccato in his chest, how could he be so calm when his own soul was burning?

They’d reached the clearing where they’d played as children, it looked nearly the same as he remembered.

So many hours had been spent playing here.

“My dear.” Ezra whispered, “I will say it once more, I have missed you terribly.”

Crowley smiled sadly in return, eyes full of unshed emotion.

“Forgive me.”

He choked a sob, “There is nothing to forgive, Ezra.”

“I should have written, found you, but I was too scared. Too lost in my duties to find you.”

Crowley walked closer, refusing to speak and picked up his hand, weaving their fingers together. Palm against palm. “You can hear the music from inside all the way out here.” He placed their bodies together, and gently began to sway, allowing himself to get lost in the sensation of their movements.

They danced for what seemed like ages, a gentle waltz of their own making.

The song finished its last note and they stilled. His hand was warm in his own, the chill of the cool night air nipping at his flesh.

“Anthony.” He whispered, softly, afraid anything too loud could shatter the moment. His free hand brushed the other man’s face, then lips.

“Please.”

The kiss was hungry, filled with pain and want. They allowed their kiss to speak for them, pouring love and anger and the overwhelming need for the other into the other's soul.

His lips were soft and he tasted sweet. Crowley had never known such pleasures, he found it curious the difference loving one’s partner could make.

His emotions were coiling in his breast, threatening to break free.

Their lips were bruised and swollen when they finally pulled away, Ezra held his hands tightly fisted in Crowley’s auburn hair.

“Please Anthony, I will run away with you. I can’t take being parted from you again.”

“What about your bookshop? Bee said you were in the process of opening one, it’s your dream. What about your mother, what would she say if she were to know you were fraternizing with one of the fallen?”

“I love my mother, but I love you so much more. I have loved you for so long my dearest, I have dreamt of your golden eyes and your voice. I have missed your warmth, your smile. Please.”

He pulled his lips tight, winding his fingers into the silken halo of Ezra’s hair, bending to kiss him one last time. “Build your bookshop, I love you, but we are two binary stars, constantly circling an orbit of the other. One day perhaps, until then my dearest love.” He picked up the hand in his and gently pressed his lips to it.

Then he turned and walked away, leaving Ezra alone in the moonlight.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been internally debating on and off if I should give them a happier ending. 
> 
> I suppose if there are enough people who want another chapter, I'll write it but i'm not sure. not every ending is a happy one.


End file.
